So I’ve gotten to a point where even though I’m ‘only’ 42 years old my hair is more white and grey than brown. I did something drastic. I bleached my hair and went full blonde. It’s shocking and a bit horrifying but it’s growing on me. I’ve had many hairstyles, many colours, many lengths of cuts, but this is my first time for a really drastic change. My hope in doing this is to grow out my white and cut back the blonde over time.
Since turning blonde, I’ve become invisible. Okay so there’s lots of me to see, BUT, people seemed to stop seeing ‘me’. I had no idea blondes get such a lack of common courtesy. The service I get from women in pretty much any capacity is horrid. Normally people look at me, I smile, I get good service. I have a happy friendly face. Now they simply gaze over the top of my head and almost NEVER make eye contact with me at all let alone give me good service or pretend they even SEE me! Um, I have seen my hair, it’s pretty hard to miss. I have to put myself right in front of them and force them to acknowledge me. It’s weird when you spend your whole life being treated a certain way, and then suddenly, boom! Not the same anymore. I can’t get my head around it.
Equally odd is that people who used to commonly stop and chat with me or at least give me a hello and a friendly smile while I’m out and about….no longer do. In fact, some people have stopped talking to me altogether. Actually that’s not true, let me clarify, it’s not people, it’s WOMEN. Ironically men don’t seem to care about hair colour one way or another. Though perhaps a couple of men have looked a bit uncomfortable talking to me out in public, like they don’t want their wife seeing them ‘talking with a hot blonde’. Tip for you, I’m not hot and she’ll most likely think I’m ‘just a bimbo’ anyways. Seems to be the way of it.
So why? What is it? Is it jealously? What? I’d attest it’s unconscious. I really don’t think these women have even noticed that they are treating me differently. It’s just how it is now. Like an odd transition. I never expected that in this day and age a simple change of hair colour change would to turn into a social experiment.
Part of me immediately wanted to go back to being a brunette. Back to the way I was used to being treated. Back to feeling…me. But then the other part of me wanted to shove it to the world and go blonder. What to do….hmm….well it’s me, so basically screw it. I’m keeping it. I’m sticking to my original plan.
To those who can’t handle me this way, it’s been real. Those who think they can give me crappy service because of my hair colour, be prepared. My new mission in life is fair and equal treatment for all people of all hair colours.
No, not really. I have better things to do, and so do you I’m sure. Thanks for listening to my rant and chime in with your own two cents on this issue. Especially if you’ve also experienced something similar, share your story. 🙂
Tammy E. A. Crosby 
For a season, when I was a teen, I bleached my hair blonde. For some reason, it made me more confident, and I became more popular. However, it wasn’t due to the color of my hair but because i was, well, more confident and people respond to that. I find your experience to be fascinating and would like to understand the psychology behind it. I would guess it’s that culturally women are threatened by blondes.
I suppose me having blue eyes adds to the ‘blonde blue eyed’ image that some women ‘think’ is hot and yes, therefore feel intimidated by it. The irony was that the men really don’t care. I found that the most interesting. We presume they want something that they don’t and so we’ve created a misconception about men, and blondes. 🙂
Love this post Tam! It’s very real, as usual. And you’ve added your humour to it. Good thing you’re a strong woman. You rock this hair colour!!!
awe thanks Pat. ❤ luv you!
That’s messed up. I know what it feels like to be treated differently depending on appearance. When I cover up my tattoos I get a totally different kind of service than when I don’t. People are dumb.
I can imagine yet I can’t Ang. You must have some interesting stories. Some people can’t see past the ink.
When I was sixteen, my b/f almost got into a car accident gawking at a blonde (I was in the car too so that’s how I know). The next day I went out and dyed my hair blonde. Like the other poster, I became more popular (which pissed him off), and it shocked the hell out of people when they realized I wasn’t stupid. I dyed my hair blonde for a few more years after we broke up, and I swore I would never do that again.
Wow I’d have never guess that you were a blonde once. And yes, it’s fun surprising people into having to admit you have a brain. My natural blonde pals are some of the smartest women I know. Totally lame stereotype. Very frustrating for them.
Yes, for about five years. I stopped when my hair started feeling slimy. I learned some important lessons; 1, trim your hair to keep it healthy, 2. never let a man dictate how you should look.
Hi Tammy,
An interesting post – I cant think why it makes such a difference in 2014! Still, blonde or not, you still make brilliant mugs. 🙂
I know, weird right? Still so many old cliches in existance. Sad actually. And i’m so glad you still love your mug! haha! I had the best time making them and I’m so happy they found homes across the pond too! 😀