For the purpose of this story the word IT = kid/s.
You wake up feeling like crap on Sunday. You somehow manage to get through Monday. You think, “I made it through Monday. I will OWN Tuesday.” You suffer sickly through Tuesday. Now you’re tired as hell and here comes Wednesday.
WOOT!!! Halfway there! You can do this! The end is near! That’s what you tell yourself. Meanwhile by the end of Wednesday you leave work and crawl into your car. You have no memory of how you get home. You order a pizza and try in vain to doze off on the couch while IT jumps all over you while talking REALLY LOUDLY.
Thursday arrives. Now you’re in panic mode. Do I call in sick? Do I go and leave early? I’LL NEVER MAKE IT! Of course if you go in and leave early there’s no longer any point. It just means you’ll spend the three hour gap awake at home on the couch stressing that you’ll fall asleep and forget to pick IT up from school. Not exactly restful. So, in a daze, with one eye open and half a brain …you go to work and suffer through Thursday.
You feel like you’re a marathoner in some kind of, “I’m sick and I survived!” race only the race is far from over and it seems to get strangely longer in distance the more you try to compete. Worse yet, you now realise that even if you somehow manage to fool people into thinking you’re not sleeping while ‘working’ on Friday that there will be nothing stopping the Saturday from arriving. You shudder. You KNOW what that means. It means IT will be home. It means IT will be up and prying your crusty little red eyes open at the ass crack of dawn saying “GET UP IT’S SATURDAY I WANT TO PLAY PLAY PLAY!!!!”
You shudder again. You can’t do it. You know that if you don’t get some rest before Saturday 5:30am gets here there will be nothing holding you back from bawling like a baby and screaming at IT, “FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY GO BACK TO BED RIGHT NOW! GIVE ME TEN MORE MINUTES AND I’LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT! ANYTHING!”
IT’s not stupid. IT happily says, “okay” and leaves.
2.5 seconds later from a range close enough to feel ITS breath on your ear…
“HAS IT BEEN TEN MINUTES YET?”
And THIS is why Friday is the perfect sick day.