Sunken Sailor Piratey Poem & Tammy’s Writing Tip of the Week

For lack of anything better, a campfire type tale to scare the spawn. Sounds really good if you get into the piratey speak. 😉 Cheers

Sunken Sailor Cemetary

Ancient stone o’er ancient bone, it be a tale as old as time
But neither prophet nor seer could nary predict a vengeance as curs-ed as mine

I yearn for a luv that were taken from me, without rhyme nor reason, ‘tis true
Though perhaps, now me thinks, the silver she stole, might’ve had sometin’ t’do

For thems took me Lass, I’ll takes all ye pasts and ye presents and ye futures too
There’ll be no place to hide ye bilge sucking salts so ye best take the plank as yer due

Of this one fact ye may be certain, those who bear me black mark
Will die before dark, as I swipes’em from life like a curtain

The moon shines bright, off me cutlass tonight, down here at the bot’tom of the sea
Where dead buccaneers, and slaughter’d privateers, lives out their eternal mis’ry

Aye, one can die, e’en after he’s dead, tis the curse of a life left to lingerin’

And plot twenty five, has hidden inside, the sea dog I’ll soon be disfigurin’

So later on t’night, when ye shut yer eyes tight, and yer soul gets lost in a dream
Remember me rightly, don’t ye dare fight me, ye’ll only make it worse if ye scream

Tammy’s Tip of the Week – Crit Speak

Like many of you I do alot of crit work. Or to be politically correct, I provide alot of ‘detailed feedback’.  Or do I? As I’ve been doing more and more beta work I’m realising I’ve developed a lingo all my own. For example, a smiley face doesn’t mean just any old thing, it means it’s a frigging fantastic line/section. Means I loved it, it fit the story, the character, was a laugh or cry out loud moment. If you get a smiley from me, it means you’re doing something REALLY right. I also seem to enjoy the term ‘sticky’ for some odd reason. Hmm, what is this mysterious ‘sticky’ thing I speak of? To me it means I had to read the line twice and still didn’t like it, it stuck out and tripped up my tongue or my mind in some form. That it pulled me out of the story in some way. This could be a good thing if that’s what you’re going for, but if not, it means rewording it. So what’s my tip? I’ve almost forgotten it myself, lemme think, oh yes; If you’re going to give feedback to someone, make sure you’re clear in exactly WHAT that feedback is and means.

Those are only a couple of my own examples. Which ones do you use? (if any)

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16 Responses to Sunken Sailor Piratey Poem & Tammy’s Writing Tip of the Week

  1. Fantastic poem Tammy! There were a few lines in particular that rolled off the tongue perfectly – especially in pirate speak. Am I the only one hearing Geoffrey Rush’s Cap’n Barbosa?

  2. I love your little poem…that must have taken a long time to write! (And if not, then I am even MORE impressed, cause it is awesome!)

    I totally understood your “lingo” in the crit you did for me and I appreciated it immensely!

    • CDNWMN says:

      Whew! Well I’m glad it made sense to you, wait…should we be worried we think that much alike? 😉 lol That poem took a fair bit of great feedback from my OWG group 3 members and others as well. My critters are my lifesavers. 🙂

  3. BeaCharmed says:

    That makes perfect sense about the crit comments. It must be a tricky thing to deliver good, useful critiques of someone’s writing.

  4. That poem made me think it should be the opening for a Pirates of the Caribean movie. So well done. I don’t know how you’ve got that lingo down so well, but I’m sooo impressed and it rhymes and tells a nice hauntingly good ole’ tale. Great stuff! 🙂
    As for your crits…I always appreciate your honesty and totally get you. No hidden agenda, just total truth from you Tams! Thanks!
    As usual…another interesting blog & amazing poem!

  5. Gareth says:

    The poem was fun, all ships blasting guns, with vengeance as a wonderful key
    Theres lots of romance, with plenty of chance, for fun to be had with the sea.

    The sea dog was exciting, with threats that were frightening, as revenge was sought by the crew
    Hung from the yard arm, with lots of its own charm, this smart and clever point of view.

  6. Marianne Su says:

    I’ve decided you must have been a pirate in a past life. Enjoyed the poem. Well done!

  7. T. James says:

    Aaarrgh! I be’s luvvin’ dat piredy poem, I does! 🙂 There was no one else in the house so I read it as instructed 😉 – lots of fun and works really well! You come back to pirate themes a lot Tams, are you ever going to do a pirate novel? I reckon it would be awesome… 😀

    Tip: Simply wise; there’s no point on feeding back on someone’s work if they haven’t got a clue what you are talking about… Worth bearing in mind…

  8. diannewaye says:

    Argh me hearty, swing your cutlass over that delete key! Great poem – methinks ye be a reincarnation of a blackhearted scoundrel from another era.
    But in all seriousness, there should be some kind of shorthand invented for critiquing. Good point.

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